I don’t often do home visits, but today I was asked to go to the home of someone who is 90 years old. I thought it was going to be about her own depression but it turned out that family therapy techniques were important for the session. Two of her kids live at home with her still and the client feels in the middle between them as they argue constantly.
One of her kids has a job and the other one isn’t working which causes a lot of bickering. The one that is working feels he is carrying the whole burden and has tons of resentment. The client doesn’t want to kick out her son that is unemployed and can’t sleep well due to worry about him. He is 59 and doesn’t want a low paying job given that in past he made good money. Yet, he doesn’t seem to be able to find anything satisfying (and the other brother claims he really isn’t job hunting much at all).
The elderly patient has been tearful and worried about the tension between her two sons. She admits she makes excuses for her son who isn’t working but isn’t going to kick him out. In this initial session each person spoke about their own trials in the living situation. Family therapy techniques I believe first require open communication and I wanted everyone to feel comfortable without getting defensive.
The son who is working feels very over extended. We spoke about his having his brother do more for their mom in the home so that he is contributing too. It is a difficult situation as the brothers have had sibling rivalry before this economic tension and there was always jealousy between them over their mom’s love. The mom privately told me that she does seem to be closer to her unemployed son because he is sensitive the way that she is. The brother who is workng feels that the mom is enabling the brother to not have to work by coddling him. It is a difficult situation and I’ll be meeting with them weekly as we work on problem resolutions.
My grandma has 2 kids still living with her and it’s awful. They want her to take care of them even though they are adults. She is too codependent to change. They all need serious therapy and one of them even has a masters degree in counseling.
Comment by Blade — July 20, 2009 @ 10:42 am